How to tell if Your Date is Lying, Married or Otherwise Undesirable, Part I

Even on the first date when he said he was not married, your instincts told you something else. 

Unfortunately the statistics favor that he/she probably is.  Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 – Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy).  Reports also show that the subject of marriage isn’t typically discussed before an affair begins.

So if your instincts tell you something is up, listen to them.  Keep in mind if he/she is lying about being married, chances are they are lying about other things as well, and since the most important thing to look for in a potential mate (after the lust subsides) is honesty and trustworthiness, the safest idea is to do what the police do when looking for a suspect in a criminal case – eliminate them as a suspect first!

This simple checklist developed by the American Polygraph Association and the American Psychiatric Association helps you eliminate undesirable prospects by giving you clues that let you know when a person is lying.  As you are engaged in conversation, watch for certain behaviors that are often telltale signs of lying, in this case, when you bring up the question of whether he/she is married or not: